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Shave My Head For A Shitty Game? No Thanks!

Possibly the most disturbing thing at PAX this year was the booth for Brother’s In Arms: Hell’s Highway. Well, not necessarily the booth but the pigheaded gang mentality of the people who actually lined up for as long as two hours to get a “Hellcut” so they can get a free copy of the game.

Perhaps I’m spoiled by getting review copies for the last few years - but I would also like to think that if I wasn’t in such a position, there’s no way in Hell (pun not intended) that I would waste two hours in a line to be able to put my name on a list to get a free $60 game I may not even like. And it wasn’t just haircuts these guys were getting - they were also getting the word “HELL” airbrushed to the back of their freshly-coiffed heads. Talk about humiliation factor. Some might think wasting two hours of your day to become a walking advertisement for something would be worth the price of the game - I respectfully disagree!

If you’ve ever seen a photo of me, then you’ll know that I have some crazy, oft out-of-control hair going on. At one point I walked by the booth for this game and a bunch of people pointed at me and were yelling for me to get in line. Yeah, right - I’ll join your big stupid frat party and bite into beer cans, too, guys. Also: how many fucking World War II games do we need? And why can’t anyone do it right? A real WWII game would have Americans join the game really late - like after you’ve been playing for four years already - and then it would end.

What I’m waiting for is the video game series that takes a stab at how British troops massacred Native Americans and took over their land. Preferably, it would be a game you can choose to fight as either side. Come on Ubisoft, there’s big money to be made in that one!

Posted in Awful, Commentary |