Who Buys This Shit?
Jesus Hates Zombies, Lincoln Hates Werewolves
By Kevin Hickey - March 4th, 2010
Recently, during my travels around the Internet, I came across a Lincoln-related comic that I could definitely see myself getting behind. It is perhaps the most interesting historical figure crossover comic ever produced: Jesus Hates Zombies featuring Lincoln Hates Werewolves. Here’s the publisher’s description:
“The zombie plague has swept across the Earth, and Jesus has been sent down to take care of it. Along with Laz, his loyal zombie sidekick, Jesus must unite the remaining humans to stand up and defeat the zombie menace. With a time-traveling Abraham Lincoln at his side, and a zombified Angel hot on their heels, can this mish-mash of heroes save humanity – or themselves?!”
I am concerned, however, with the historical inaccuracies of this book. Everyone knows that Jesus loves zombies. In fact, Jesus was a zombie himself! I was taught as much during my youth as a part of the Church of Zombie Christ. We learned all about the importance of feeding on the body, blood, and brains of our saviour so that we could unify as one large zombified army against the forces of evil. Of course, we didn’t have any of Jesus’ actual brains, so we substituted animal brains most of the time.
Before the RCMP burned our compound to the ground and seized all of our assets, we were quite busy preparing for the joy of the upcoming rapture and zombie apocalypse. Ah, those were the days!
Jesus Hates Zombies is the creation of writer Stephen Lindsay and artist Steve Cobb. From the preview pages I saw online, it looks like it would be a funny and entertaining read. Jesus has quite the chip on his shoulder and he is not afraid to show it! I will be ordering the book into my comic store, and you can do the same at your local shop.
Why does Lincoln always end up being a time traveler in comics? Is there something in his genetic makeup that makes him an ideal candidate? Personally, if I were Jesus and facing an army of zombies I would choose to partner with a dead president who had a little more combat experience, such as Ulysses S. Grant or Dwight Eisenhower.
In any event, I believe this book has definite “cool shit” potential. What do you think?
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That reminds me, I saw this book in the bookstore today:
http://tinyurl.com/yahahy5
Apparently it’s gonna be a movie, too.
Actually, never mind, it was just a trailer for the book. … how odd.
My time traveling, werewolf hunting Lincoln has been around for over 2 years now! So I like to think I had something to do with his recent resurgence in popularity.
Seriously though, thanks for posting this. You’re showing the cover to vol. 1. There are 3 volumes currently available, with the 4th volume coming in May!
And just for the record, Jesus was never a zombie. He was resurrected, sure. But he retained his soul. Zombies are merely reanimated corpses with no souls whatsoever. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
~ Stephen Lindsay (Creator of JHZ)
Futurama has taught us that sometime before the year 3000, the second coming of Jesus is not only a Zombie Jesus, but it destroys all video tapes. Technical explanations be damned! Zombie Jesus!