Humour


Obsessed Much?
Assassin’s Creed

By Jorge Figueiredo - April 3rd, 2010

Assassin

If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you that I do my best to finish the hell out of games that I like. If you give these same friends a few pints of beer, or perhaps some money, they will tell you that I also have a crazy imagination and that it gets away from me at times.

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Announcement
Toronto Thumbs Fools You!

By Jorge Figueiredo - April 1st, 2010

Smiley

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Toronto Thumbs is not actually moving.

It’s hard to pull pranks on people these days, what with everyone being so savvy due to osmosis from being on the internet all the time. I had to try something, though! I actually got the idea from Shaun, who -hopefully- got my e-mail about the previous post.

Toronto Thumbs will remain at its current location, and will continue to bring you news and reviews as best we can. In the hopper are some reviews for God of War III and Pokemon HeartGold, as well as some interesting articles that we’re sure you will like.

Stay tuned!


OVERHEARD AT TORONTO THUMBS
Adam’s Empty Haul

By Toronto Thumbs Staff - January 3rd, 2010

It’s Saturday night. Adam is playing Deertase 2: Reindeertase and upon finishing each fight, is opening a lot of empty treasure chests.

SHAUN: Wow, you’re getting a lot of empties.

ADAM: Yeah, ’cause you’re a dick!


More Rabbids Fun

By Shaun Hatton - October 9th, 2009

Rabbids

While browsing through some character art from the upcoming game Rabbids Go Home I came across the above image of two Rabbids. One’s wearing a lacey thong while the other is looking down into its boxers, and I’m not sure which is funnier.

The Rabbids’ sense of humour is at times more than I can handle, but after spending some time looking through the game’s artwork, I’m really looking forward to getting some hands-on time with the game. From what we’ve heard it involves the stealing of stuff to make a pile so that the Rabbids can climb it to reach their home: The Moon.

When asked how they felt about having their home world bombed in an unprovoked attack from NASA today, they replied with this.

Check out our Rabbids Go Home gallery »


HOLY CRAP, JORGE WAS RIGHT!
Jarate Will Be In Team Fortress 2

By Shaun Hatton - May 20th, 2009

Jarate Will Be In Team Fortress 2

On the Team Fortress 2 website, Day 7 of the update hype has revealed that Jarate, once an April Fool’s Day joke, is going to be a reality.

What is Jarate? It’s Jar-Based Karate. While not a substitute for the martial art, it’s apparently an effective tactic in which the Sniper throws a jar of urine that splashes on impact. Enemies hit with it take 35 per cent more damage for a time period, but can wash off the ill effect by jumping into water. But wait! There’s more: Jarate can short out cloaking devices on enemies and put out fires on teammates.

For the record, Jorge predicted this April Fools joke would become a reality in S02E02 of our podcast, and we kinda didn’t believe it could happen. Jorge, we owe you one. Please, put that jar of pee down.


Questionable Intelligence
The Truth Behind Square-Enix’s Creative Dampening Field

By The Manic Gamer - March 13th, 2009

Questionable Intelligence

Greetings listeners, er, readers… This is the Manic Gamer! In written form, no less. I would have preferred to deliver another spectacular radio broadcast to you loyal members of the gaming underground, but it seems the ever-sensitive city of Toronto is on full alert, cracking down on the type of offensive game-related anarchy that is disintegrating our culture, which I revel in bringing to you whenever possible. Delicious isn’t it? And since they haven’t caught on to my system of carrier pigeons quite yet, I have found the means to send thoroughly researched but hastily written notes that I’m sure someone at Toronto Thumbs will make semi-legible in time to publish.

And while I’ve got your attention let me pose the question that burns within me today, does anyone remember Chrono Trigger? I mean do you really remember? Do you remember how it brought together that “dream team” of talent from archrivals Square and Enix? And considering what resulted from that experiment, shouldn’t the merger of those two companies have since resulted in a gaming renaissance? But it hasn’t really worked out that way has it? And I for one, felt challenged to find out why.

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My Take on “Still Alive” is “Five Alive”

By Jorge Figueiredo - April 9th, 2008

2008_04_09_jorge.jpg
This is no lie: I yell at cakes at cake boot camp, where I teach.

You may have seen this in the comments last week, but if you didn’t, here’s my take on “Still Alive.” It’s a tribute to what may be my favourite drink from the pop machine here at work:

I’m awfully thirsty
My throat is an awful, parchy mess
It would be great to get me some refreshment!
I’ll check in my pocket,
Perhaps I will have some change to spare
To use inside the pop machine
That’s just a few steps away…
It’s a cold container packed with very cold drinks
And it sits right next to the aluminum sink,
Oh what joy I have a loon,
This is surely a great boon,
I can use it to get FIVE ALIVE….