Game:
Team Fortress 2
How to Tell You’ve got a TGF:
After a good round of TF2, your TGF and you have a telephone conversation about it. He remarks that your skills as a Sniper have improved a lot since you last played together. He tells you that he’s interested in your strategies and would like to know some of your tricks so that he can learn to play the position better. So you tell him.
Today Bugsy and I attended Sony’s Holiday Preview Event in Toronto. We played many games together but one in particular stands out for me. That game is Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm. We played six battles and he beat me savagely in every one. Each time I thought I had one-upped him by pulling off a special technique, he somehow evaded it.
Bugsy is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to competitive video gaming. Even his somewhat debilitating cold could not stop him from not only beating me at Naruto, but beating THQ’s rep at WWE Raw VS Smackdown 09 and beating my time at the first stage of Sonic Unleashed.
Way to go, Bugsy, you’re unbeatable at video games… for now.
We all have friends who tend to disappear from time to time. Usually, the case is that said friend gets a girlfriend or boyfriend and then starts spending every waking hour with their new love interest. When the relationship ends, said friend may come ’round and start hanging out with you again if all contact between you had been previously lost.
In the gaming world, we go through a somewhat similar thing, only minus the human connection at times. We not only have to worry about our few real-life friends running off with human love interests, but we have to also worry about our good friends falling in love with consoles such as the Xbox 360.
Sadly, my True Gaming Friend, Adam, is now the owner of an Xbox 360. He and I got together Friday night and when he left my place, he took a stack of 360 games to play. I’ll assume that’s where he’s been all week. Sure, you might think that it’s only been about five days since we last spoke. But that’s a long time for us! Oh Adam, it was nice being your friend when you didn’t have an Xbox 360. I’ll look forward to our eventual reunion when your beloved new console gets the red ring of death.
The recent news that Gauntlet DS has been announced obviously made me remember that the original Gauntlet is perhaps the worst game to play unless you have a TGF.
Games like the quarter-munching Gauntlet were made to be played with a large group of friends. Preferably three friends, so one for each character. As you play with your friends, it will become painfully apparent just minutes in that one of your friends is a treasure whore IE: he or she will often hold up the progress of the team to make a mad dash for an out-of-the-way treasure chest.
It’s okay at first because you can just yell at your TGF or punch him/her in the shoulder in a jocular fashion. You may even say something along the lines of “Hey Jerkface! You’re holding us up! Don’t shoot the food! Argh!”
Your True Gaming Friend will always laugh at you when you complain about being held up or about getting the food shot. After all, you will likely be playing the game on a compilation disc featuring unlimited continues, so what does it matter?
But it DOES matter, TGF! Don’t hog all the treasure while the rest of us are narrowly escaping death from the oncoming horde of dungeon-crawling enemies. Now we know why you always choose the elf: so you can run around and grab the treasure before the rest of us!
Real-life friends would let you shoot the zombies you called for. True gaming friends will kill your zombies after killing theirs.
Ever wonder if you’ve got a True Gaming Friend (aka TGF) or not? Well, wonder no more. Here’s how you can tell you’ve got a true gaming friend who will always be there for you no matter what.
Game:
Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles
How to tell you’ve got a TGF:
When playing in multiplayer mode, and you and your friend* decide it’s best to divide the screen into left and right halves to determine what side of the screen each other is responsible for taking care of, your TGF will often cross over onto your side of the screen to kill the zombies you call out for and also steal your weapons and ammo upgrades.
You’ll know you really have TGF if this person shoots a zombie’s knees out, causing him to fall just before your well-aimed and timed headshot could connect. Thanks, TGF! Now it’s going to take eight more bullets to kill this zombie when he could have already been dead.
Sometimes your TGF will tell you he had to shoot the zombie because it was getting “too close” or “was about to hit us.”
A real-life friend would never dress like a ninja to jump you in a parking garage. But a True Gaming Friend totally would.
Ever wonder if you’ve got a True Gaming Friend (aka TGF) or not? Well, wonder no more. In this first instalment of the series, we’ll discuss one of the many ways you can tell you’ve got a TGF.
Game:
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
How to tell you’ve got a TGF:
When your “friend” sneaks around an entire map, avoiding countless enemies and friendly grenade explosions, just to shoot you in the side of the head from your sniping position. Your friend then complains about recoil on the weapon despite having recently being quoted online as saying the game weapons have no recoil*.
While this may seem like your “friend” is in fact a huge “jerkface,” be assured that this is not the case. For you see, a TGF is quite different from a real-life friend. If you have a friend that shoots you in the side of the head in real life, please call our toll-free hotline at 911 before you die.
